The show must go on…

And heeere we go, another blog entry!! But something changed, this time i am writing from my Austrian computer (okay.. same laptop, but new austrian screen!!) .. jep i am back in good old Australia (oops i meant Austria …).

And I am writing in English because I miss this language sooooo much, everybody is speaking German here.. or lets say a strange dialect of german what i like calling Austrian (yes it is a language!!) . But i was so used to this beautiful American English and the people sounded so friendly and polite and suddenly everything sounds so rude and hard. You sneeze and nobody says bless you, everybody tries to avoid eye contact with strangers and speaking in an elevator is forbidden.. you prefer starring around and feeling uncomfortable than starting a small talk conversation. In America people couldn´t stand silence and preferred talking… and you better said „sorry“ a thousand times (even when unnecessary) than forgetting it one time when it would have been necessary. Some people might call it fake but they don´t know how comfortable you feel in a society where everybody treats you like a friend, with respect and politeness.
BUT i must say there are places in austria where it is like in america… on a mountain ! We have kind of a rule that above 1000 meters you are „friends“ with everyone, so people joke around and talk with each other without feeling uncomfortable! I realized this similarity when i went on the Dachstein a week ago and i felt soooo good !

Okay but enough from that, just wanted to explain why I write in english – it´s just a beautiful language!! And sometimes you can just express things easier in english than in german.. don´t know why.

I don´t wanna write every detail of my life in this blog of course, and also not all personal things that bother me – but I think it´s good to keep track of what you experience and in some years when you look back you can think of all the great memories again, like i do now when i read my entries from america. Actually I still miss princeton a lot.. of some former au pairs i heard that it can take a year til your „home“sickness is better.. hopefully it´s not that long with me. But i must say that i spend a lot of my free-time thinking back, looking at pictures and writing with friends in princeton and with those who already returned. My mood really changes from moment to moment, sometimes i am really just totally pissed by everything and everyone here and i just wanna go back or somewhere else again. I still can´t say that i am happy to be back, but i mean you just have to accept the fact and live with it and try to make the best out of it. And i did some trips and fun events and i will record them here in the next time.

And i wanna mention that doesn´t mean i am not thankful for my great friends and family here. But sometimes i feel bad because they are all welcoming me with open arms and i kind of reject them, but it´s just not that easy.

I just miss calling mariana, jasmin or conny, talking about the latest news, events, feelings, what bothers us and they perfectly understand because we experienced everything together. We all kind of were the same outgoing, travel-loving, far-far-farthest-away from home-type, but here a lot of my close friends consider Austria as the only home, they have their family, boyfriend, even already think of marrying them, blabla and are totally happy with the stable situation they have here.. it´s funny, it´s exactly the stable situation i don´t like about here. But i am really looking forward to vienna, new city (biiig city ), people, studies, „adventures“, problems !

Okay okay so far concerning my thoughts, i don´t know why i wrote that down – too much time? .. no but i think by writing something down you think about it again and start thinking about it differently and stuff. you know

oke so far so good, the next entries won´t be that thoughtful but more describing the trips i did here so far. See youuu